dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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