I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
