I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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