Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
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I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
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Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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