how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
