cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
