I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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