It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
