what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
