my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
