If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
