I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
