I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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