I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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