Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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