garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
