Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
