You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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