I'm so fucking centered right now
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Randomize
