At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He did a backflip because drugs
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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