Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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