But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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