I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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