Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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