Fuck appropriateness.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
