I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize