All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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