I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Randomize
