I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i barfeds in our rink
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
