Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You took a bar mat shot.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
