i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
