how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
