I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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