Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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