I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize