get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
its not stalking. its research.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
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She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
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He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize