Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize