No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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