3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Jerry, you need to find god
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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