It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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