she looked like the before picture.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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