I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
