WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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