For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
