the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
