What a fucking waste of an outfit
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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