every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You ate ashes out of my bong
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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