Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
