Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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