i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
