Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
