I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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