We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My butt remains clenched, sir.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize