i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
