Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize