He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
do nipples grow back?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
