there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
