there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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